In Which Eric Uses Math to Zzzzzzzz

Huh? Whuzzat? Hmm?

Oh, sorry, I must have drifted off there. Judging by the amount of drool that has congealed on my laptop, I've been out for a good hour or so. Boy. I wonder what prompted me to crash so quickly?

Oh, yes. Eric's walking post. Man, did that ever bore the socks off me. I mean, walking, right? How exciting can that possibly be? Just mentioning Eric's daily walk makes me very slnfjuwebfhkwjerbfk.

Oh, jeez, sorry. I passed out again. Man, that's some powerful stuff, that Eric's walking post. Even with the colorful (by CGA standards) graphs, and the fancy GoogleMaps link, I still find it hard to keep my eyelids open. And the math! Oh, the math! I tells ya, if this is the kind of excitement I missed out on by never taking a math class in college, then boy howdy do I regret it!

That, by the way, was sarcasm. I can understand if your senses were so dulled by Eric's walking post that it's hard to discern sincerity from irony at the moment. I know for me it's becoming harder to discern pleasure from pain...no, wait a minute...I remember...it's coming back to me...yes! "Pleasure" is a world where Eric's walking post does not exist. "Pain" is the opposite of that.

Still, as my therapist says, "Try to think positive, you miserable little worm!" And so I shall. There has to be a silver lining in all of this, and I think I know what it is: Eric's daily route to school. With this information, I can now plan an assault on him when he least expects it! I'll simply wait for him as he takes a diagonal route across one of those...sleepy...reszidennnnshullllllllllllll...

Huh? Oh, cripes, I fell asleep again. This shield of tedium is impenetrable indeed! How can I ever formulate a successful attack plan if I keep falling asleep at the proverbial wheel? Damn you, Eric Walkingshaw! Damn you and your confounded banality!

And by the way, I did try telling that guy that those aren't significant savings. And do you know what he said?

"Do you mind!? I'm trying to eat a big-ass hamburger over here!"

He may not look it, but he's a reasonable man. And one thing's for sure: he'll never bore you with a walking story. I mean, honestly, look at him! The man travels by forklift, for Christ's sake!