I have consulted Wikipedia.
Now, you might be thinking to yourself, "How exactly does this constitute a 'new low' for a man who once famously tried to wedge himself under a couch during a rather humiliating panic attack?" And you'd be right to think that, but you'd also be an asshole. So please stop bringing that incident up, won't you, asshole?
The reason for my foray into the unsubstantiated-fact-ridden-world of Wikipedia is Eric's post of Wednesday, July 23, entitled "The Ease of Metaprogramming with Echo." Now normally such a title would elicit a knee-jerk response of "Nerd!" followed by sneering and pointing and the threat of a swirly or some other toilet-related humiliation. Unfortunately, since Eric has decided to dash off to graduate school in the People's Socialist Republic of Oregon, he is not within swirly range, so I am forced to battle him with my words, which, as anyone who has happened to read this blog over the last month or so realizes, is a bit of a problem.
It's not that I lack the vocabulary to attack Eric: for example, "Eric's nose is so large and bulbous that it has been known to interfere with closing elevator doors." Also, "Eric Walkingshaw is a pooface." The problem doesn't lie in words, but, I am afraid, in context. While calling Eric a pooface is satisfying, it doesn't quite destroy his enthusiasm for "metaprogramming with echo," whatever the hell that means. And since I have long directed such childish taunts at Eric with seemingly little effect, despite the immense pleasure I derive from doing so I feel I must try something different, something more substantial, something more...informed.
And thus, Wikipedia. If this is where Eric gets his information, well then by Jove it's where I shall get mine too. He who lives by the scarily democratic and nerd-frequented online encyclopedia dies by the scarily democratic and nerd-frequented online encyclopedia. At least, that was the plan, anyway.
The reality is that I found this under the entry for "echo (framework):"
Echo is a web application framework that was created by the company NextApp. It originally started as a request-response web application framework that leveraged the Swing object model to improve the speed of application development. Through the use of the swing model, Echo was able to employ concepts such as components and event-driven programming that removed much of the pain of web application development.
I wasn't sure if this was the "echo" I was looking for. So I tried "echo (command)," and found this:
In computing,
echo is a command in DOS, OS/2, Microsoft Windows, Unix and Unix-like operating systems that places a string on the terminal. It is typically used in shell scripts and batch programs to output status text to the screen or a file.This seemed more likely, especially since the "usage example" looked fairly similar to Eric's example in his post (i.e. it was a bunch of nonsensical gobbledygook). So it seemed I had figured out what "echo" was, but the only problem was I still had no idea what the fuck it was. Slightly dazed by this unfortunate paradox, I decided to try my luck with "metaprogramming." The result:
Metaprogramming is the writing of computer programs that write or manipulate other programs (or themselves) as their data, or that do part of the work at compile time that is otherwise done at run time. In many cases, this allows programmers to get more done in the same amount of time as they would take to write all the code manually.
Okay, okay, some arcane terms in there, but I think I get the gist. The gist...well, I think the gist is...see, metaprogramming is like a program, right, but it writes other programs, and you can use this echo thingy to do it for you kind of, except what practical usage could there be, but there must be, right, because otherwise why would...no, wait, metaprogramming allows you to program things without programming...everything? Hmm...
You know what? Forget knowledge and context. Forget a reasoned, intelligent, informed cut-down. Eric? This is you.
2 comments:
Hahaha. I thought I'd lost you, but fortunately it seems that my lack of posts lately has kept the prospect of catching up alive long enough for you to do so.
I have been resisting commenting on this blog so far, in fear that my enthusiasm for it would discourage you. But the more I think about it, the more I think it will only infuriate you more, thus encouraging you. You see, Patrick, it's this sort of complex psychological analysis which will help the robots enslave us all (yes, even me, eventually--but it's a fate I welcome in the interest of progress). Though of course, they will be much better at it than my feeble, laptop-enhanced brain. When the transition actually begins, you will think you are resisting, but you will only be doing their bidding.
Also, nice detective work. You got the gist of it.
That was a very well-executed revelation of your secret plans. It is at this point in the movie where the super-spy escapes the death-trap you have set for him and foils those plans. Unfortunately, I appear to have left my magic multi-function lapel pin in my glove box...
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