Nice Halloween costume. Too bad you totally stole that idea from me and my totally real, totally non-imaginary girlfriend.
Here's a picture of my costume. And here's one of my girlfriend's.
Not be immodest, but I think we totally owned you guys.
Friday, November 14, 2008
In Which I Once Again Play Catch-Up With the Nefarious Mr. Walkingshaw
Three more posts.
Perhaps it is time to admit that my foe is winning this battle. It is increasingly hard for me to muster up the motivation to denigrate him on the Internet, seeing as how all my previous attempts to discredit, capture, eliminate, or even simply momentarily sadden him have all failed miserably. Perhaps I should just change the name of my blog to "Some Miserable Douchebag Tries to Heap Said Misery on Another Human Being, but Being the Miserable Douchebag That He Is, Fails Miserably." That would be a long title, and difficult, I imagine, to slip past the Blogger character limits. Ah well.
So maybe I should just get back to work; put my shoulder to the grindstone and try, once more with feeling, to knock this wide-nostriled evildoer down a peg. But really, I must admit, my heart is not in it. I mean, look at the material I have to work with here: Jack Zduriencik? I have to waste two of my three obligatory posts talking about Jack fucking Zduriencik? Is this what my life has boiled down to? Debating about/sharing opinions on the newly-hired general manager of a baseball team that happens to call the local metropolitan area home? Why have a blog? Why not just call in to sports talk radio?
Christ. I mean, I have no real strong feelings about this man whom I've never met, will never meet, and who I would probably honestly not give two-and-a-half-shits about were it not for his present occupation. But apparently Eric does. Such strong feelings, in fact, that they are indeed mixed, and we all know that mixed feelings are the strongest feelings of all, and the kind most worthy of devoting words to on the Internet. Nuance and equivocation--those are the hallmarks of bloggerdom, and what truly every websurfer is looking for when perusing the wilds of public sports opinion. It comes as no surprise, then, that such thoughtful and non-reactionary sentiments are inspiring a virtual wildfire in his comments section. Despite the din, I do wish to offer up my own half-inspired opinion, if for no other reason than to keep this increasingly irrelevant and unnecessary little enterprise going.
First: Whatever Jack Zduriencik may do--and this includes running over Felix Hernandez with his car--it is rather unlikely that he will be a worse evaluator of talent and implementer of reason-based decision-making than the previous general manager.
Second: I base the first assumption on the assumption that Felix Hernandez does something worthy of being run over by a car, like deciding to continue "establishing his fastball." Not saying it was his decision to do that, just saying if he keeps on doing it, I mean come on doesn't the kid have a mind of his own and realize he is infinitely more talented than the hacks telling him what he should be doing? Just sayin'.
Third: Eric keeps talking about holes springing up in dikes, and while I understand the analogy, I also find it amusing that such an enlightened and technocentric person like himself still falls back on folksy Dutch wisdom.
Fourth: Thanks for the pronunciation guide! And to think all this time I was pronouncing his name wrong and nobody gave a damn.
Fifth: I agree that his firing of Fontaine was a downer, but I also understand that the guy probably wants to have (and now does have) his own team, of his own guys, to help him reach his goal of building this team in his own way. Whether that way ends up being fruitful or not only time will tell, but at least he won't be able to fall back on blaming it on holdovers from the previous administration. If he succeeds, he does so on his own merits and on the backs of his own decisions--and the same goes for if he fails.
Sixth: Also, any decision he makes that infuriates Eric makes me a little happier. Just a little. Is that a little smile forming at the corners of my mouth? Someone take a picture!
Seventh: Zed--can I call him Zed?--Zed and I are going to be fast friends, I can tell, and I'm sure he'll give me a good listen when I try and explain how valuable a player like David Eckstein can be to a team. And how we really miss the heart and team-oriented approach of Ryan Franklin around here. These issues should be addressed tout de suite.
Eighth: Eric probably disagrees with the last statement, but I'm afraid me and ol' Zed are having trouble hearing him from way down there in Corvallis. I'm sorry, Eric, but you'll just have to shout louder! Preferably in the middle of the night and directly at your burly, irritable neighbor's open window!
Perhaps it is time to admit that my foe is winning this battle. It is increasingly hard for me to muster up the motivation to denigrate him on the Internet, seeing as how all my previous attempts to discredit, capture, eliminate, or even simply momentarily sadden him have all failed miserably. Perhaps I should just change the name of my blog to "Some Miserable Douchebag Tries to Heap Said Misery on Another Human Being, but Being the Miserable Douchebag That He Is, Fails Miserably." That would be a long title, and difficult, I imagine, to slip past the Blogger character limits. Ah well.
So maybe I should just get back to work; put my shoulder to the grindstone and try, once more with feeling, to knock this wide-nostriled evildoer down a peg. But really, I must admit, my heart is not in it. I mean, look at the material I have to work with here: Jack Zduriencik? I have to waste two of my three obligatory posts talking about Jack fucking Zduriencik? Is this what my life has boiled down to? Debating about/sharing opinions on the newly-hired general manager of a baseball team that happens to call the local metropolitan area home? Why have a blog? Why not just call in to sports talk radio?
Christ. I mean, I have no real strong feelings about this man whom I've never met, will never meet, and who I would probably honestly not give two-and-a-half-shits about were it not for his present occupation. But apparently Eric does. Such strong feelings, in fact, that they are indeed mixed, and we all know that mixed feelings are the strongest feelings of all, and the kind most worthy of devoting words to on the Internet. Nuance and equivocation--those are the hallmarks of bloggerdom, and what truly every websurfer is looking for when perusing the wilds of public sports opinion. It comes as no surprise, then, that such thoughtful and non-reactionary sentiments are inspiring a virtual wildfire in his comments section. Despite the din, I do wish to offer up my own half-inspired opinion, if for no other reason than to keep this increasingly irrelevant and unnecessary little enterprise going.
First: Whatever Jack Zduriencik may do--and this includes running over Felix Hernandez with his car--it is rather unlikely that he will be a worse evaluator of talent and implementer of reason-based decision-making than the previous general manager.
Second: I base the first assumption on the assumption that Felix Hernandez does something worthy of being run over by a car, like deciding to continue "establishing his fastball." Not saying it was his decision to do that, just saying if he keeps on doing it, I mean come on doesn't the kid have a mind of his own and realize he is infinitely more talented than the hacks telling him what he should be doing? Just sayin'.
Third: Eric keeps talking about holes springing up in dikes, and while I understand the analogy, I also find it amusing that such an enlightened and technocentric person like himself still falls back on folksy Dutch wisdom.
Fourth: Thanks for the pronunciation guide! And to think all this time I was pronouncing his name wrong and nobody gave a damn.
Fifth: I agree that his firing of Fontaine was a downer, but I also understand that the guy probably wants to have (and now does have) his own team, of his own guys, to help him reach his goal of building this team in his own way. Whether that way ends up being fruitful or not only time will tell, but at least he won't be able to fall back on blaming it on holdovers from the previous administration. If he succeeds, he does so on his own merits and on the backs of his own decisions--and the same goes for if he fails.
Sixth: Also, any decision he makes that infuriates Eric makes me a little happier. Just a little. Is that a little smile forming at the corners of my mouth? Someone take a picture!
Seventh: Zed--can I call him Zed?--Zed and I are going to be fast friends, I can tell, and I'm sure he'll give me a good listen when I try and explain how valuable a player like David Eckstein can be to a team. And how we really miss the heart and team-oriented approach of Ryan Franklin around here. These issues should be addressed tout de suite.
Eighth: Eric probably disagrees with the last statement, but I'm afraid me and ol' Zed are having trouble hearing him from way down there in Corvallis. I'm sorry, Eric, but you'll just have to shout louder! Preferably in the middle of the night and directly at your burly, irritable neighbor's open window!
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