Did you think I would not notice, Walkingshaw? Did you think that your long hibernation would lull me into a sense of security and--dare I say--victory? Well you were wrong. Wrong! Unluckily for you, I cannot ever accept victory or success for myself. It is just one of many undesirable character traits that will keep me forever vigilant in my quest to let no Internet-based forum for your self-expression go un-countered. It may be dirty, unglamorous work, but the sheer unnecessariness of it ensures my undying devotion. It is a determination which is, ironically, un-prefixable.
So you awaken from your slumber and end your hiatus with two seemingly innocuous posts, about a month apart, like the clever little robot-monger you are. "Victory by degrees," you likely thought to yourself, and then you also likely thought, "That would be a good slogan for a brand of roll-on deodorant." Yes, Eric, I am in your head. And the accommodations are disappointing, I must say.
Santa Fe? Santa Fe? Santa Fe has been on your "to-visit list" for "years?" Santa Fe? Not Albuquerque. Not Carlsbad Caverns. Not even Roswell. Santa Goddamn Fe. What was it about the capital of New Mexico that so attracted you? The Georgia O'Keeffe museum, and its prized collection of vaginal-themed paintings? Were you simply stopping by on your way to Los Alamos to continue your side career in funneling secrets to Chinese robots? Or maybe just to gawp in wonderment at the awe-inspiring beauty of the Palace of Governors, which in no way resembles a 16th-century adobe strip mall? Whatever reasons you may have had, there are few words that can describe the type of person who would be so desirous to visit such a humble little burgh. "Lame" springs instantly to mind.
But the food! The food! As it warranted your first blog post in a year-and-a-half, it must have been something else, that authentic Santa Fe cuisine. Something exotic and far-fetched, that inquiring Internet passersby would no doubt be flabbergasted by its very existence. Something like...enchiladas, beer, and soup. Color me intrigued by these fascinatingly unique dishes!
Well, you're not the only one enjoying the fine dishes of some exotic locale. Just this evening I myself had quite the ravishing meal, traveling as far as the gas station down the road to acquire it. I don't have a fancy camera of the picture-taking variety to document it, but I do have the Internet and a search engine, so here is a close approximation of my Elegant Wonder Meal:
And don't think I didn't notice your toki pona cards, neither. Nena suli, Walkingshaw. Nena suli.
1 comment:
Well, it seems I couldn't lull you into defeat after all. Time for a new strategy of inundation.
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